A Night Out

We went out last night. We don't go out often. But last night was a bit of a new tradition for us. We went to see Henry Rollins last night. It was our third time going to see him, this year being his Recountdown Tour 2008. On a whim, three years ago I decided to buy tickets to his show, hoping that the hubster would enjoy it. I knew he only knew Henry Rollins through his music, not his spoken word, so I was a little worried that he wouldn't "get" it. But he did. I was introduced to Henry Rollins' work in high school, and have been a fan since, so I was thrilled when I realized Hubby enjoyed it as well. 

So last year I discovered that it is super easy to meet this man. Just hang out by the bus after the show, and he will be there, making time for every one of his fans that are standing there. So camera and sharpie marker in tow, we waited. we met. I went all fangirl and couldn't say a word. And I did not have a mamory card in my camera people!!!! REALLY?!?! *sigh* so no photograph. This year would be different. The camera was packed. Batteries? check. Memory card? check. Umbrella? ummmmm, no. dammit. We are old. We didn't want to stand in the rain. There was a huge crowd this time around, as he mentioned during the show that he hangs by the bus- so clearly everyone searched out that bus after the show. We thought, bah. We met him last year…we will just remember to bring an umbrella next year 🙂

I highly recommend this show- run out and see it! There is language. There are strong political views. But there is also an incredibly intelligent man standing on that stage, a man that could teach us a thing or two about the world around us. a funny man. an intense man. a man that has incredible stories to tell. so go hear this man! I insist 🙂

Three

Three girls. Three different personalities. Three different reactions to the camera. Three girls that I wish I had waaaaaay more time to photograph as they stun me with their looks.

 

 

The Camera. I Love Being in Front of It. Really, I Swear.

ok, no I don't. I hate it. HATE IT. I am horrendous in front of the camera. It is a disaster ever single time. So why bother? Well, really, I ask myself that alot! But here is the thing, I am a photographer. Sometimes, if I have no one else to photograph, I am all I've got. I have photographer friends that pressure me to take self-portraits….they are evil friends. Sometimes, I just get really bored and decide that to punish myself and make myself miserable would be an awesome way to pass the time. And sometimes…okay, lots of times, I need to update my profile pic for some such site, because I sort of get bored easily, and therefore tend to change my look alot. A side effect of all this self torture is it reminds me what it is like to be in my client's position. I think it is important to remember what it is like to be in front of the camera, so I can better understand how to make you more comfortable.

So, surprise surprise. I changed my hair again. I get so very bored, and I like to spice things up. So this time around I went and got my bangs dyed. They did not come out the way they were supposed to, BUT I think I still like them, and I am going back in a week to get the blonde color changed to a more yellow color, which is what it was supposed to be. They were supposed to be tri-colored, which I know sounds scary, but scary they were not! they were awesome! Sadly, one of the other stylists threw the book away that had the specific colors in it….so my color is not exactly accurate. But oh well, they are still fun, and the fun thing about hair is that if it looks bad, it can always be fixed, re-dyed, or cut. My favorite past-time is changing my hair! (which sadly means lots of self-portraits, dammit!)

 

 

 

total blur here, I know. This would because I am uncooperative. Every photographer knows one of the hardest subjects to shoot is a 2 year-old, because they are all over the place and distractable. The only reason they think they are the toughest subjects is because they have yet to shoot me 🙂 I will give you so much motion blur you will SO want to smack me by the time we are done! But even with the blur, I actually like this shot, I think because I have a real smile on my face, which is a rare thing to capture on camera because I get so self conscious.

 

I'm over it. Can you tell?!

But out of all the shots we took yesterday…my favorite:

 

I have my woobie project, where I love to capture images of children with their woobies. I woke up the other morning and thought, "why can't I have a portrait with my woobie?" My Bucki (otherwise known as my grandmother) made this for me when I was a baby. I love this blanket. It reminds me of Bucki, and of her warmth. It reminds me of how much I miss her, and someone makes me feel better knowing I have this small part of her with me still. And so I grabbed my poor unsuspecting hubby, who would have to stand in for my malfunctioning remote control, and barked orders at him. Press this button. No! not that one! Turn the camera this way. Get closer. Squat down further. Are you framing me right? *sigh* I have no clue how he didn;t walk out!!! Instead, he rocked this out! Go hubby!

A Page in the Book….

Sometimes I struggle with this blog. I struggle with whether I should seperate the business from the personal. I go back and forth on this issue a lot, and in the end, I always come back to wanting to keep the personal side mixed in, because really? I am a too-much-information kind of girl. I always have been, and probably always will. I want my clients, and whoever else reads this, to feel like they know me, or at least know a small part of me.

The thing is, I have been keeping this silly little secret, and it has been driving me nuts. As I said, I am generally a too-much-information girl….I will tell you if I have to pee, if I have gas, I will tell you that I love listening to Christina Aguilara (I know, I should stop telling people that one, right?!). I will openly share that I am scared of the dark, that I have an irrational fear of clowns. that I love my antidepressant. I am a pretty open book.

One of the things that I am incredibly open about is the fact that I go to marriage counseling….and love it. I will share this with anyone who will listen. the lady standing behind me at the grocery store. the receptionist at my dentist office. really, I could care less who knows, because I am absolutly in love with the process and think that every couple should do it. It has done absolutely amazing things for me and my marriage. So here is the thing. I will carry banners saying I go to marriage counseling…but I am terrified to share with people that I. Me. Just Me. go to therapy. I am embarassed by it. I know that is silly. But there you have it.

I go to therapy. Every week. I lovingly call it Therapy Thursday, because I go every Thursday, whether I want to or not…and believe me, I usually don't want to. Just me. Little ole me. and my kick ass therapist. Yeah, I have to give her props, because the reason I go to therapy. alone. every week. is because I have crap I have to deal with. Deep crap that I haven't dealt with in over a decade. I am not such an open book that I will share with you what that stuff is, because it is mine. and it hurts. I suffer from it immensly, and in ways that I never expected, and finally after it started ripping holes into my little life, I decided to take a step I have always said I would never take, and I called my therapist and said the words she had been waiting over two years for me to say…I need to come in alone. It is time to do this.

And so I go. Every week. and I am better for it. I am becoming a person that I have not had time to properly tend to until now. It is hard. and weird. and there are times I get really tired of the process and the pain that it causes. I am tired of keeping it a secret from the people that I am closest to. So here I am…sharing another page in my open book.

me + my computer = grumpiness

I love computers, I love technology. Really, I do. But I am currently having second thoughts about my current relationship with my computer. I think we have changed. It's not my computer, it's me. I have grown since we first met. Things are different now. I think we need to break up. *sigh*

I have been trying to edit these shots…to no avail until tonight. I am having memory issues. Well, I am not; my computer is. My poor little laptop can no longer handle my large files. I have put a bandaid to the wound, so hopefully for now, we can make things work.

SO- I know that you have deperately been missing my bug shots. Here is the thing…it is freaking hot out. I melt in the heat. I do. It's a fact. So no bug hunting when I am all melty. I have had these for awhile….and have finally gotten around to sharing.

   
 

In My World….

stupid things happen to me. my best friend sent me a button on FaceBook that said "we are the kind of friends that get hit by parked cars", and that is SO right. I have been trapped in a gas station bathroom. go ahead, laugh. I know you want to….but know this- being trapped in a gas station bathroon is NOT FUN. It is icky. and kinda scary. and really, just icky. While kayaking, I rowed myself square into someone's dock pillar. hard. it hurt. I have fallen UP stairs, and gotten hurt. I dislocated my knee….while simply standing. Yeah, stupid things happen to me. and so it was no surprise when I looked in the mirror the other day and discovered that my adorable little sparkly diamond in my nose was no longer adorable….or a diamond. it was still sparkly….just BLACK. hubby thought I changed it out. how could I change the thing out when I just got it pierced THREE WEEKS AGO?!

I thought I was going crazy. Maybe the lights were playing tricks. Maybe I was officially being punished for not wearing my glasses. Gasp! maybe…..maybe someone snuck in while I was sleeping and changed the thing out?!?! I do sleep incredibly heavy. So for the past two days I have been walking around with a BLACK sparkly thing in my nose. No offense to anyone that may have a black sparkly thing in their nose, but it is just not for me! I was aiming for cute and subtle. not black. So this afternoon I headed over to the place where I got it peirced….and proceeded to perplex them all. they were shocked. confused. there were lots of f-bombs dropped. magnifying glasses taken to my nose (seriously). and they said they had never, NEVER, seen anything like that happen before. I thought, "of course you haven't, because these are the stupid things that happen to me". while completely and totally perplexed, I was not shocked, because that is how I role 🙂 random stupidness. But I have to say, the people over at Other Side Ink were very cool, and replaced the jewelry at no cost. so now, back to cute, sparkly, and SUBTLE. woo!

and a random photo for you. Only my mother can con me into stupid things like poking my face through the head of a wooden cow…..

7 Year Itch

seven years. SEVEN YEARS! wow. We celebrated our anniversary yesterday, and I am still a bit in awe. I look at this picture, and it makes me giggle. we are listening SO intently…yet you could not pay me a million dollars to tell you what the woman was saying. I have absolutely no clue. I was gripped with fear….fear of heights and fear of this foreign thing called marriage. We were high up. I was terrified. Heights scare me. and we were high. so I clung to hubby's hand….if I fell, he was SO going with me! lol!

I look at this picture and I see a baby version of myself. It seems like it was such a long time ago. So much has changed. I feel like a different person than that girl standing there on the cliff. No one tells you how hard marriage really is. They tell you not to go to bed angry….and that is about all they tell you! They don't tell you that marriage takes constant work. It can be hard.We have definitely seen the good times and bad. We have learned the incredible value of marriage counseling (yes, I LOVE marriage counseling!), that communication really is key, and that I will probably never master the not going to bed angry thing. But we have also learned that if you put your all into it, if you put sweat and tears into it, you are rewarded. You are rewarded with spending your life with someone that is your best friend. That you trust with your heart. someone that, in the end, you cannot imagine your life without, even if they do drive you crazy at times.

My husband balances me in a way no one else has ever been able to do. He keeps me level and grounded. He somehow loves me in spite of my numerous quirks and faults. My husband has helped me to grow into the person I am today, and for that I will be eternally thankful.

and I have now officially filled my quota of mushiness for the day.

oh, and the seven year itch? I have so many bug bites on my feet from my trip to NH, I can't stop itching them 😉

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and completely off topic…Daily Dave is back! look over there ——–>
and you will see Daily Dave hanging out at the top. I had taken it down some time ago, thinking I should keep the blog more business oriented, but you know what? I am way too big of a fangirl. I love the daily wisdom of dave :p! ultimately, this blog is a mixture of both business and personal, and I always want my clients to get a true impression of who I am, as both their photographer and as a person. and so daily dave is back, though technically I can't promise a quote everyday…but daily dave just has a good ring to it, as opposed to "every three days dave", yeah?

and for those who *gasp* are not on a first name basis with him, dave would be Mr. Dave Matthews, of the Dave Matthews Band.