Archive for April, 2008

April 24, 2008

Heebie Jeebies

sometimes I feel sorta bad subjecting everyone to my bugs. I know I give you heebie jeebies- honestly, sometimes they give *me* the heebie jeebies….but I cannot help that my passion lies with creepy crawlies. I am not sure how it happened, or when it happened. I just know that it happened- I have a passion for the buggers.

BUT, just for the record….they still scare me! I get creeped out most of the time when I am shooting them. I get shakey, and get super scared that while I am shooting them, they will jump on me. But I put myself through it because there is truly nothing else I would rather shoot. weird, huh?! There is just something so neat about bugs- at first glance they are gross and ugly, plain and simple. but upon a closer look- they are incredible all the details they hold. color patterns, textures, fuzz! yup, I am odd, what can I say! But I am what I am, and I love my bugs!

So tonight I present to you yet another bug. But I decided to shake things up a bit, and instead of doing my normal buggy stuff, creeped things out a bit. I really like these…I am sure most of you won’t : ) and yes, I *know* these are not in focus….it was sorta the point.

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April 22, 2008

Snail Shells….and Accountability

nothing like a random pairing, right?!

*I suppose it is only fair for me to point on that I can sense some rambling coming on,,,,so feel free to jump on ahead to the photos :p!

Let’s start with accountability…since it has been on my mind for some time now. I am a member of a photography forum, and a member there started a great conversation about something that plagues many women—weight. So the idea is that we would all post our goals, as well as starting weights and sizes *gasp*, and we would make ourselves accountable for taking the actions to get ourselves healthier, as well as being a great support system for eachother.

This has come at a wonderful time for me. I have been struggling with my weight for at least a year. I have been gaining weight for longer than that….but truly struggling with my self image for about a year. It has been a strange battle for me. I have always been skinny. And when I say skinny…I mean skinny. I remember hearing rumors in high school that I was anorexic~ always a pleasant thing to hear about yourself. I graduated high school at 97 pounds. this is not the weight I wanted to be at- it just was the weight I was. That was the thing- I never thought about my weight, unless it was a passing thought of how I hated that people would comment on my skinnyness (because yes, that gets very annoying, very quick. You would never think to go up to an overweight woman and tell her she is fat…but it is amazing how many people will comment on your being too skinny as if that is not rude).

Being blessed with a wonderful metabolism meant that I never had to struggle with body image issues, other than the typical teenage girl stuff. I had many frustrations with being so small- back then, clothes were sized far more normally than they are now, so it was very difficult to find things in xs that fit properly. hubby never believed I could have such a hard time finding clothes until I actually dragged him out with me, and then he understood why so many times, I would leave the store in tears. What I wouldn’t give to be that size today- when all the clothes seem to be made for the itty bitty people!

About five years ago, I started putting on a lot of weight after going on Paxil for anxiety. Because the medication was such a big help, I was very reluctant to switch to something else. Remember- I was always small, so I had no concept of the weight issues that I would soon struggle with. I was coming from a body that could show improvement after just one week of sit ups. I would exercise as a way of stress release, for fun….never because I had to. I had no clue what it meant to battle weight, so I stayed on the medication until I gained almost 40 pounds from it. It was only then when I realized that I may have hit the point of no return. Suddenly, I could do hundreds of sit ups….and yet my stomach would still look flabby. In my mind, I truly thought that I would be able to work out and the weight would magically disappear in a week. Silly- but true.

This started a downward spiral for me. When I realized the weight would not easily come off, I became so frustrated and just gave up. And of course…more weight was gained. It became a vicious circle. This was a whole new world to me, one that felt so very foreign. I would look in the mirror and be utterly shocked by the girl looking back at me. Who was that? That is not the skinny Kristie that I saw in my mind. I never got used to the new me.

I soon became lost in the new me. I didn;t know how to dress this new body. How to hold it proudly. I got lost in baggy tee shirts and ill fitting jeans. I stopped caring. I missed the old me, the girl that had a distinct style all her own. Suddenly, instead of wearing cute tops I was wearing my husband’s tee shirts. I tried occasionally to lose the weight…and failed each time. I lacked the motivation. I would become so frustrated that my body could not bounce back like it used to.

It wasn’t until a few months ago that I finally realized I was putting too much pressure on myself. It was time to realize that I was not going to get my old body back…and I was certainly not going to get a healthy body back overnight. This was going to take time. And I needed to have a better reason than getting skinny to do it. Finally I realized something- while I would love to be skinny again….that will probably never happen. But what can happen is I can get healthy again. I am can learn to be okay with the body I am in. So I made a decision- to either get healthy, or learn to love this round body of mine and learn how to dress myself as a fashionable overweight girl. no more tee shirts!

So here I am….being accountable for myself. And I am proud of it : ) I am proud that I am no longer hiding from my weight, but staring it straight on. I intend to no longer allow myself to miss out on silly things inlife because I am uncomfortable with my weight. Since making my decision to get over it, I have lost thirteen pounds. I gained a few of them back after moving to an office building with an evil vending machine, but that’s okay. It is just part of the ride. I will lose them again, and more too. I have a goal of 40 pounds, and finally- I know that I can do it!

There is something to be said for being held accountable for your actions, and having it in you to face that, and challenge yourself…..and gain something really big in return.

THERE- RAMBLING OVER 😉 on to some snail shells I found in the back yard….

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  okay, so technically this isn’t a snail shell! This was a piece of wood I used as a prop for the shells, but I really liked the texture of it, and the patterns it had.

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I thought it would be fun to give you some macro perspective. Sometimes it is easy to forget, when looking at macro work, just how small the subjects really are….

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April 19, 2008

Elusive No More

this bug…..

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has been so very elusive. but finally, my day came where the planets aligned, and I caught the bugger! I have been hunting for this thing ever since the first time I saw it. And let me tell you—he is FAST. When I first saw him, I was so stunned by his unique appearance that by the time I thought I better grab my little bug catcher, it was too late. Ever since, I am always looking for him whenever I am outside. A couple months ago I was sitting out in my front courtyard reading, when swoooooosh! there was my bug. I ran inside and grabbed my bug catcher. I got back outside and tried to catch him….tried being the opperative word here. I failed miserably.

Frustrated, I plopped back down with my book, looking up once in awhile, hoping maybe the little guy would make another appearance. Nada. Hubby got home, and saw me grumbling in my chair. He asked me what the issue was, and I swear to you, as I was telling him my frustrations the bugger buzzed back by. And I kid you not, in mid-sentence I lifted my bug catcher and caught the thing. just like that. I swear. And then I panicked. now what?! I was losing light fast, and this thing is FAST. So into the freezer he went. yes, the freezer. We gave him five minutes, and he appeared to be slowed waaaaaaaaaaay down. We brought him back out, set him on a leaf…and swoooooosh! Gone! I got one majorly overexposed, blurry picture.

So the other night while hubby was watering the plants and yelled to me to grabbed my catcher. He didn;t say why, but I had a feeling it was my bug. I got out there and he said "I saw him, I don;t know where he is, but I think he is in those flowers". I was bummed. I thought there was no way I would find him. But after five minutes of searching…..woohooo! I found him! I found him!

So this is not the best shot…but I am just so excited that I finally caught the booger, I had so share something! I will share more later.

April 15, 2008

For the Love of Music

You Are an Indie Rocker!
You are in it for the love of the music…
And you couldn’t care less about being signed by a big label.
You’re all about loving and supporting music – not commercial success.
You may not have the fame and glory, but you have complete control of your career.
I love music. It plays such a vital role in my life. It is always on, always. I definitely have my very own soundtrack to my life. I hear certain music, and it immediately transports me back in time- sometimes to happy times, sometimes not so happy….but it takes me back like it was happening all over again. I love that about music. It’s ability to take you back in time.
So, considering my love of music, it is sorta funny that it has taken me this long to finally get an iPod, right? Hubby and I have a tendancy to rebel against new technology. It’s what we do. It took us forever before we finally broke down and bought a digital camera. So it seems only appropriate that we stalled before finally breaking down and getting an iPod. Originally, we bought it for hubby….but he gets frustrated with technology, and I was so excited about it, so we compromised, and it became mine to learn on. Really…I know that this is just hubby’s way of stalling more- but we will let him think that I haven’t caught on : )
So loooong story short- I discovered the dangers of iPods. and my goodness is it dangerous. I spent last night filling up my little shuffle with all sorts of my crazy schizophrenic music- dave, tool, joss stone, digable planets (yeah! does anyone remember digable planets????), mr marley. tom petty….a little bit of everything. And then I popped those little earbuds in…..and this is where things get dangerous people- I suddenly was transported onto a stage, in a big arena, in front of a crowd of adoring fans. oh goodness…I did the dishes…..and BELTED out the lyrics of every song that came on. Why is this dangerous? well….anyone that knows me knows that my voice was NOT made for signing. I am tone deaf. And sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks on crack. It is scary. Not. Pretty.
So out to the lania I went to do the laundry. I told myself to hush up. I couldn’t control myself. The hips started going, the head started bopping….and yes- I sung loud. oh, my poor neighbors! Next- to the front yard to water in my new grass by my new pond (pictures coming soon!). Now….this is dangerous territory. I live on the corner of a busy street. I told myself that there were no ifs ands or buts, I had to get control of myself. and I just couldn’t do it!!! Amy Winehouse came on, and it was over. I put on a show. I scared the birds and squirels. Like I said…not pretty.
So let this serve as a warning! Be careful with your iPods people. Be prepared to let your inner rock star out to play.
April 14, 2008

A Tough Pill to Swallow

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but peanut butter helps it go down a little smoother : ) This, my dear readers, is the new arsenal we have to attack the nasty cruddies that have been residing in the ears of my pugger. If you are a regular reader, you sort of have had no choice but to read about the trials and tribulations of the pugzilla’s ears. Well, today is a new day. We have begun a new treatment plan,,,,and yes, being mummy and all, I technically should be optimistic…but I’m not. We have been battling this problem for two years, so I am holding back on all the gooey hopeful stuff….but I am crossing my fingers. This is the biggest fight we have shown these ears, so we will see. Eight weeks of antbiotics. yes, eight weeks.

My poor doodle has no clue what she has done to deserve all of this cruel treatment… but she is SO not a fan of all of this newfound attention. Every morning she gets her ears flushed, then cleaned out. The she gets the ear drops. some super special salve in her eye (this is a normal everyday thing that we need to do forever and ever…but suddenly, it is just another treatment), then the trickery. She thinks she is getting a treat at the end of all of this….a pill dipped in yummy peanut butter. My pugger is a tough one to get anything past her. She spits pills out like there is no tomorrow. And since she has no snout, my normal technique is sorta fruitless. So trickery it is….and it almost always works : ) Then every evening we go through the whole ordeal all over again…adding an additional pill, and a quick spray down on her feet, neck, and little arm pits for yeast.

The pugger face is not thrilled with all of this…but I keep telling her it is for her own good. i sorta think she has been trying to figure out how to flip me off with those cute little paws of hers.

April 8, 2008

I am One of Those People…

Your Aura is Blue
Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life.
You are very giving of yourself. And it’s hard for you to let go of relationships.

The purpose of your life: showing love to other people

Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah

Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

yup, I am one of those people that is a true believer of things like horoscopes. I am a Pisces….and sometimes it is just plain old creepy how well I fit the description of a Pisces. The way I gravitate to colors of water. how I feel when I am in water. how I feel when I hear the sound of water….seriously. it’s kinda creepy.
I am pretty consisent. I take a personality test, it always follows the same lines. My horoscopes, always very close to spot on (unless you read Glamour horoscopes….ummmm, my life is NOT that exciting!). So it was no suprise that this little "blog thing" quiz told me I have a blue aura :D! yup, I told you I was consistent! Even Blog Things get it right!! So what color is your aura? go find out and tell me!!!
April 5, 2008

Death of a Sunflower

the glory of sunflowers is that even as they are dying, they are still beautiful!

It seems as if every time I get the itch to go outside and do some macros, it is super windy- and today was no different! Actually, I attempted to shoot some of the flowers yesterday, and it was way too windy, so I gave up. I wanted to shoot again today….and once again- too windy. BUT, I was frustrated today. I am beginning to get paranoid- I think all computers have a super secret plan to drive me as crazy as possible…..today, they drove me over the edge. What do I do when I am on edge? Macros 🙂 Really. Macro photography is my true passion. It is what makes my soul smile. So I *needed* to shoot…wind or no wind.

So I am not one to cut a flower just to shoot it….but I told myself it was okay, since they were dying anyways. So that is my story, and I’m sticking to it!

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     I think this may be one of my new favorites…..and I am thinking this may find itself printed on a nice big canvas 🙂

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April 2, 2008

Old School

*sigh* <— have you figured out yet that when I start a post with a big fat sigh you are in trouble?! So here is the deal….I promised (well, actually, I pinky-swore, ’cause I’m a dork like that, and while I may break a promise, I never break a pinky swear) hubby that I would succomb to his glory here on my blog…so here I am, admitting that I am apparently old. there, ya happy now?!

So here is how I discovered this horrid news that I have somehow grown up; we were driving in the car listening to the radio. The song Killing in the Name, by Rage Against the Machine, is playing. It stops playing, radio dj ruins my happy day by stating that that was Old School Rage. ummmmmm, what? nuh-uh. That was soooooo not old school! How can that be considered old school? The Beastie Boys? totally Old School. I am okay with that. Run DMC? yup, Old School. But Rage? nope. nuh-uh. I don’t believe it.

I am having a bit of a tantrum as we drive. Hubby is siding with the dj. yup, totally Old School. I am SO not buying into this one. There is no way that a band that I listend to in high school is now considered Old School. It just isn’t. I just graduated, like, yesterday. right? So i begin to rationalize- and you know it is never good when you start doing this. So I am counting on my fingers how many years it has been…one, two, three……oh poop. This can’t be right. one, two,…….eleven? what? Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! How can something that I listend to in high school now be called Old School. I am trying to decide which year this song came out. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I was not listening to it in high school, maybe it was after.

I am getting frustrated at the prospect of the who Old School concept. I AM NOT, CAN NOT be old school, I just can’t. can I? I break down….I text my go-to girl. the girl that knows everything there is to know about music- specifically Rock….I text Solei. She will totally back me up on this one, I can feel it. I ask her when the song was released. I patiently wait for a reply. I know Solei will not let me down with this….and then poof! just like that, I have my answer. 1992. Crap.

I, apparently, am old.

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I hate posting without pics…..so I can’t remember if I ever shared these. This is just a leaf off of our Banyan tree.

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April 1, 2008

A Proper Peek

finally, I have a proper sneak peek for what has got to be the most fun family! They have been so patient waiting for their sneak peek….even enduring the worst tease- me posting a sneak peek, only to un-post (yup, it’s a word in my world) it within 2.5 seconds after realizing my computer completely fooled me with colors. In those 2.5 seconds, mom saw the shots!!! Is that dedication, or what?!

So thank you, A. family, for waiting through all of my computer issues for this peek. I had so much fun with you guys! I cannot remember the last time that I laughed so hard….or for so long! It may have taken us forever to get this session scheduled….but it was definitely worth the wait!

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