Archive for November, 2008

November 30, 2008

You’re Screwed

I have figured out how to share videos….yup, you are screwed! you thought my terrible snapshots were bad!

deaf dog from kristie kulik on Vimeo.

this was the first time that Tinker was officially not aware that I had come home, and I found it funny that she has taken Punky's role as the world's worst guard dog.

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November 29, 2008

In Review

I thought I would torture you with a review of my overly exciting month of November….in horrid snapshots 🙂 you know you want to see. you know you do.

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The quick assumption here would be that I must loooove me some fluff. You know what they say about assumptions though. Nope, this photo would be my hubster's way of proving a point. I forgot he took this until I uploaded this memory card, and couldn't help but laugh when I saw it. What point was he trying to prove? That maybe, maybe, it would be a good idea to see what you actually have in your cupboards before you go shopping, because there is a possibillity that what you need is already there. There may even be lots of it. Guess I should have taken his advice before I went and bought that fluff.

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We had a wounded pugzilla in the house. It was her versus a pair of nail trimmers…and apparently the nail trimmers won. She was wounded. She was bandaged. She came bounding into the room, and I about died when I saw the cuteness level of the red bandage. I know it is wrong, and I was worried, really I was, when I saw that bandage, but my goodness, she looked way too cute with the thing on.

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ummm, so technically there is no story to this photo. The truth is, I sort of suck at taking snapshots, and tend to just forget to take them, so my month in review is pretty boring and I thought I would spice it up with this awesome yawn shot. Too bad I can't play sound here, because you should here the sound that goes along with this yawn…hilarious princess pug squeak.

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and drumroll please….my first live tree in, I think, thirteen years!!! There was a bit of an issue with picking this badboy out, what with me being a tad bit anal retentive with a sprinkling of ocd.

The story is…we were given a tree our first year together from an elderly friend that I think felt bad for Robert, because he was complaining that I kept calling him a scrooge. So his friend passed on his tree to us, saying he and his wife were too old, didn't have time for such a tree anymore. So this tree, that had to have been close to twenty years old, suddenly became ours. And for as old as it was, I LOVED it. LOVED IT. During my last trip up to NH, I was chatting with the hubster, asked him what he was doing, and he told me he was cleaning up, and casually threw in that he threw the christmas tree away. WHAT?! He had to wait until I was out of state to get that thing in the garbage, because otherwise there would have been a battle. I will give him this….it needed to go. I probably should have gotten a tetnis shot every year prior to decorating the thing. But did I mention that I looooooooooooooved it?

I refuse to pay full price for a tree. Not when you can get them so damn cheap after the holiday is over….so what is a girl to do? I was panic stricken, mainly because that is what I do best. I was trying to figure out what we would do. Would be just ignore Christmas like we did last year (looong story)? Hubster stepping into the midst of my panic and shocked me with saying "we will get a real tree, duh". Really? REALLY?????

So we headed out to get a tree, and ummmm, well, yeah, I sort of have issues with picking things out. It is not pretty. I have the capability of standing in one aisle for over an hour trying to pick out deodorant- even though I have not changed deodorant brands in two years. I suspect that the security cameras follow me as I shop because I take so damn long picking things out that I must certainly look like at any moment I am going to shove something down my pants and make a run for it. And now, here I stood under a tent filled with trees that all looked the same….yet SO very different. I may have had a slight temper tantrum after being overwhelmed by the sight of so many trees and attempting to pick through each and every one. But the sweet husband that I have promptly snapped me right the hell out of that spectacle. And I found a tree! I found one! And it was perfect and pretty and the exact perfect height and the perfect amount of yummy smells and it looked absolutely awesome on top of my car. And that, my friends, is the tree story.

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and for good measure…I got excited with the tree, and felt quite wintery, and decided to torture my poor little tinker.

November 28, 2008

St. Prizzal

Back in July I went to fantablulous Fort Wayne, Indiana. I am a slacker….that's just the way I roll, so I am only now editing the photos.

You will remember that while Robert's cousin E was in town back in May, she threw her sister on speakerphone, turned the camera on me and handed me an envelope. That envelope contained one of my most favorite presents ever: a ticket to Indiana, and a ticket to see Dave. These two girls share my insane infatuation with the Dave Matthews Band, so I knew this would be one hell of a trip. And it was.

And so here is one of my gift givers….April, otherwise known as Saint Prizzal of Mount Holy Shiz Nizzal (yes, for real). Will she kill me for posting these? probably. Do I care? notsomuch.

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ok, so technically, I am probably majorly busted for posting this one! But I could not help it…this shot cracks me up. She was having a not very nice telephone conversation, and she is just so sweet that is hilarious to see her angry face. So I did what any friend would do, and captured the face for all of eternity.

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I love this girl. Other than the fact that we are not the same age and that we do not look alike, and well, the little thing about having different mothers, there are days that I wonder if we were seperated at birth. She is one of my best friends, and really, I would be so very lost without her.

When our family suffered an incredibly sad loss, the four of us- me, hubster, E and April- formed an intense bond. We have only gotten closer over the years. There are people that get confused by our relationships with each other, because we are only cousins. While I consider these girls absolutely as family, they are SO much more than that, and really, I don't mind that people don't understand that.

April is my coffee in the morning. We email each other every. single. day. And I am not talking about forwarding the stupid chain mails. not the one line "how are you's". No. We email each other novellas. We ramble about the important and the mundane. We have the SAME sense of humor, and say things to each other that I think are pee your pants hilarious, and then I tell hubster…and he doesn't get it.

I fantasize about the day that we will all one day live closer. I dream up ways to strike it rich so I can buy a house in their neighborhood, to spend the holidays with them. Until that day, we all just make every effort to see each other as often as possible throughout the year, and find a way to pretend to be satisfied with that.

November 27, 2008

Overflowing with Thanks.

Hi! It's me.
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that's me up there, being a class A dork. I rock at the dork thing.

So I was thinking that since it is Thanksgiving, the only proper thing to blog about it the things that I am thankful for. I tend to be a glass half empty kind of girl…I know, I know, I'm working on it…but I try to remember that sometimes it is the little things in life that really make me smile.

I am thankful for…

…my husband that rocks my world on so many different levels. it has been a loooooooooong year, and yet somehow, somehow he still stands by me. he still holds my hand. the man has more patience than anyone I have ever met.

…my home. I curse it out on a regular basis, but at the end of the day, I love this little place. I would be lost if the winds of florida ever stole it away from us.

…and that brings me to my backyard. It is a well-known fact that I despise the state of florida, otherwise known as hell, but I cannot deny the beauty of my backyard. of seeing dolphins play in the water or the wings of stingray as they float by.

…this strange gift of photography that I have been given. I am still trying to figure this one out, trying to figure out where I want it to take me, if I want it to take me anywhere. but I am insanely grateful for it, nonetheless. because it gives me balance. it gives me clarity. it allows me to set down all of my baggage and just be. it beings me back to me.

…my crazy dogs. some people have children, I have my puppers thankyouverymuch.

…my best friend in new hampshire. somehow, after all these years and distance and many changes and two children, we still make it work. she still is comfort to me and "gets" me in a way that no one else ever could. if I try any further to put this relationship into words…well, there are no words.

…my best friends in Indiana. I never knew that family….in laws no less!!!…could be anything more than family. and yet somehow, I am in love with these two girls. they allow me to be me. they are there at my lowest moments and my highest. they are so very easy to be with…and SO very hard to be away from.

…my boss that totally "gets" it. I have never had such an awesome boss….and I will so get slammed for this one, but there is something to be said for not working with women!

…my dad for being him. he makes me laugh. he is my voice of reason. he is another one that there really are no words.

…my mom and all of our complications*. *yes mom, I SO just said that!  without her…well, I can't even go there. I love our hour long phone calls and her sweet voice when she calls me in the morning. WHEN will hubster learn to wake me up like that???

…ok, so I can't keep being deep, it will ruin my reputation. so on to some of the simpler pleasures…

…make fun all you want, but I am so very thankful for dave and all his musical genius. that is all I'm saying about that.

…and I am thankful for decaf hot tea, whoever makes the antibiotics that my pugger lives off of, clean sheets, the smell of cold weather, the friend that lets us keep his kayaks in our backyard, my kick ass therapist (really), having a coworker that makes me laugh, that my hair has not fallen out from all the torture I have put it through, my daily emails from someone that completely gets me, having friends that will be there in a heartbeat, being able to wear flip flops year round, having wonderful defensive driving skills….and yeah, let's just leave it at that.

It has been an interesting year with many ups and downs…ok, lots of downs, but in the end, I have so very much to be thankful for and I hope that I never forget that or take it for granted.

Have an awesome holiday!

November 20, 2008

playtime

In the sun that is young once only,
time let me play and be.

                    - Dylan Thomas

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November 19, 2008

There Are Days When

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this is how I feel. There are days when I just want to scream until I can no longer make any noise.

Sometimes I wonder. I wonder what I did that was so terrible that karma feels it is necessary to subject me to this office building (aka my own personal hell) four days a week. What did I do to deserve this??? When I was little, I made my friend put a piece of bologna on her head. Was that it? Is it because I laugh when people fall? Maybe it is because I have a tendancy to sneak up on my husband and punch him in the arm? I had to do something to deserve this hellish experience.

My senses are on constant assault for eight hours, Monday through Thursday. I have contemplated just buying a gas mask, and making it the hottest new accessory. There is perfume. So much perfume. And candles! Well, actually, it is just one candle, and it is pushing me over the edge people. It is some warped version of lilac. It is most certainly not Yankee Candle yummy. Oh no. This is much more along the lines of smelling like floral scented Raid.

And then there are the noises. This building seems to be heavily populated by women that have been smoking from the very first moment that they exited their mother's wombs. There is a flood of emphysema coughs that starts every day. There are days that I am concerned that at any moment the walls will come crashing down from the sheer force behind these coughs. And then there is just teh plain old rude people. You know, the loud talkers. The door slammers. And I get that we all have our off days, and forget to talk quietly. Or when we forget that our mothers taught us to never, ever slam doors. But this is every day. All day.

Why don't I just shut my door? Funny you should ask. Remember I said that this is my own personal hell? What is hell without heat? It is freaking hot in here. Every UPS driver that enters this little cracker box feels it is necessary to crack a joke about the temperature. UPS guys- it's not funny! I have a system of fans set up that are very precisely placed to blow smells out, and suck cold air in, and cool my ass down. I have threatened to bring in a kiddie pool to put under my desk to keep the toes nice and chilled. I am always craving a drink out of a coconut shell.

So I just want to say- I hate this office!

Katie- I am so sorry I forced you to put that bologna on your pretty little head. All you fallers….I am sorry that I laughed, I will try to not do that anymore. And hubster? Well…I can't promise I will stop being a crazy sneaky ninja, sorry.

November 18, 2008

ribbit

sometimes I forget to post pictures. I will post them on FaceBook and then forget to post them here. while trying to organize my external harddrive (that's right, I SO know how to have a good time!) I found these and figured I would post them.

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and because sometimes I just cannot decide between black and white and color…
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November 17, 2008

Really?

What? Really? <— can you hear my sarcasm here? These are my sarcasm words, in case you didn't know. I use them heavily coated in sarcasm.

First- yeah yeah yeah, I know I have been slacking majorly with no photos, and I swear that very soon I will post some. But first off, I just need to get this off my chest, and I figure I should take full advantage of the fact that this is no longer a business blog, so I feel way more comfortable whining and venting here. Lucky you.

So REALLY? I have three dogs. Apparently, two, TWO, of them are deaf. What, I ask you, are the freaking chances of that?!?! And WHAT kind of mommy am I that I am just now discovering that one of them can't hear???

Punky, the pugcake, has been deaf since the day we got her. We don't know if she was born deaf, or if something happened that caused the deafness. All we know is that at five years old, she came home with us, and it was clear she had been deaf for quite some time, had adapted very well to it, and even responded to some hand signals.

Tinker is a different story. We have had her since she was a puppy. She is now four years old. It was only about two weeks ago that I noticed there was something not right. We had just returned from a trip, and I noticed that she was really kicking ass at ignoring me. At first, I thought that she was just mad at us that we had gone away. She has always done an amazing job at ignoring me, but I have always thought that was just the way she was. I was starting to get very annoyed with her, and was wondering if it was too late to bring her to obedience class. And then I started really watching her. And I realized that maybe she wasn't ignoring me. Maybe she just couldn't hear me. I started calling her name very loudly when she was sleeping- no response. I told hubby what I was thinking…he is too cute- Tink is his little girl, they love each other SO much, and he went directly into denial mode. His argument was that she barks when Koda barks- my response? "So does Punky". It was a nice try though.

So we had her annual vet visit on Friday, and we brought up our fears. We learned that it is quite possible that she lost her hearing. We also learned that white dogs with light colored eyes are very prone to deafness (Tinker is a Maltese, but she was born with no pigmentation, so her skin is all pink, her nose is pink, and her eyes were blue as a puppy, and are now yellow). In these cases, the dog is BORN deaf. So- has Tinker always been deaf, and the bad puppy parents that we are- we never noticed? I hate this thought. We were told to do some simple tests when we got home, to see if she is indeed deaf, and to what degree.

We did our little tests….hand clapping that gets progressively louder while the dog is sleeping. I have a whistle, and broke that baby out. The whistle showed us that while Tink is not fully deaf, she has severe hearing loss. She was not aware of the whistle noise until it was at it's highest pitch.

So somehow, I have found myself with two deaf dogs. I feel guilty for not knowing that Tinker had a problem, and for all the times that I just assumed that she was being a bad dog and getting annoyed with her. I feel guilty that I didn't know this was happening, and didn't try to train her with hand signals. I feel guilty that this could be something that she has always had, and I NEVER knew it.

And I will leave you with this- You know the saying Deaf, Dumb and Blind?

I have two deaf dogs. One blind husband. That leaves me and Koda…and really, Koda is a very smart dog. So where does that leave me?! 🙂

November 12, 2008

And so…

I thought maybe I should make a little clarifying post….I know there was concern with my being at a loss for words, because really- when does that ever happen?!

I want to say that I did not expect the reponse that I got from my last post. THANK YOU to everyone that supported me, and said such kind things to me. The decision that I made was a very hard one. It was a decision that took even my closest confidants by surprise, because honestly? this was a decision that I held secret for some time, from those closest to me, from everyone, really. even the hubster. It was a decision that I knew few people would truly be able to understand, so I felt it was best to just keep it with me myself and I.

To answer a couple questions-

Yes, I will keep the blog. I started this baby as a personal outlet, and I will simply bring it back to it's beginnings. I will still post pictures.

No, I am not retiring my camera. My camera brings to me something that nothing else in my life has ever been able to provide. I will never stop photography….only photography for hire 🙂

Yes, I will still have my website….at least for the better part of another year. I debated on this one for some time, trying to figure out what to do with it. I considered just taking it down. But I like to get my money's worth, dammit! and I renewed my hosting a few months ago. SO, I will revamp it, and it will simply be a personal portfolio of mine. filled with the photos that I have taken, that I love.

And last but not least…yes, I am ok ♥
As I have stated in other posts, this blog has been a constant stuggle of mine, trying to discover the line between professional and personal, when to cross that line and when not to. In so many ways, I am an open book, but when it comes right down to it, there are many things that I am incredibly NOT open about. Specifically regarding one piece of my life. I have closed off a portion of my past for a very long time, and basically, I am now paying a steep price for that avoidance. But not to worry 🙂 I've got paid professionals on my side! lol.

Seriously, yes I am ok. I just need to re-focus my life. I need to take care of me for awhile. But I promise I will still be here. Maybe a little moodier than normal, a bit more introspective….and hell, probably just as dorky. but I will still be here.

November 10, 2008

Closing Shop

I have typed this a thousand times in my head, trying to come up with the right words- in the end, I don't know what the right words are. I have made the decision to close Kulik Photography.

I have decided that for right now I need to dedicate my time to something more important than my photography business- myself. This was a hard decision to make, and one that I have been thinking about for quite some time. But in my heart, I know that it is the right decision, even if it is a painful one.

And for once- I am at a loss for words. 🙂