Archive for August, 2012

August 27, 2012

coolest kid on the block

Meet Biscuit, one of my most favorite dogs in the whole entire world, and the coolest kid on the block.

August 16, 2012

Setting Sea on an Ocean of Doubt…

If you could translate all the things I have recently been feeling into the face of a pug, this is the face that you would see.

It has been a strange time for me, a girl that runs like the wind in the opposite direction of change, as I face all sorts of changes. When I was younger I got in a huge argument with change. Things may have turned physical. There was hair pulling and shin kicking, and I may have even fought a little dirty and handed out the stealthy move of the “pinch and twist” to the back of the arm. Obviously, after doling out such a shady move as that, I promptly ran. And never looked back.

I know that no one likes change. But I don’t just not like it. It makes me itchy. A little twitchy. It steals my breath and inturrupts my regularly beating heart and replaces it with a chest full of butterflies. It makes me lose focus and question everything and see nothing but the bad outcomes. I want to move out of town and change my phone number so that change can never find me again.

I am looking at all sorts of changes. Big changes. Little changes. Changes as recent as yesterday, some as soon as Monday, and some further down the road. Change is change. I want to tell it to piss off, go bother someone else. But I am trying to just take a deep breath and take it all in. Because I know it is going nowhere. I suspect it is going to be my constant companion for a bit, so I guess I better get to know it. Maybe take it out to dinner. Find out what it’s favorite color is, when it’s birthday is, what it likes to eat.

I am a pro at just closing my eyes, choosing not to see what is right in front of me. I loooooove building walls, as anyone that knows me well can attest to. But that isn’t really going to get me anywhere, now is it? So I may wear a weary face like little miss pug up there, but hopefully I will be breathing a little easier soon. Hopefully me and change will get to know each other a little better and we will be surspised to find that we are really quite compatible.

August 3, 2012

Oh, hi there!

Oh hi! Did you think I spontaneously combusted? Or was kidnapped? Or ran away from home and joined the circus?

All totally acceptable conclusions to make, considering the silence.

Nothing so exciting though. Really…I find I hate sitting at the computer anymore. I mean, I sit at it. But I accomplish NOTHING. I stare at status updates. Boards. Emails. Hours are stolen. Nothing has been done. And the guilt sets in. And then I go do something productive really quickly and pretend like I have been at it all day, and that is really where all my time went. Not to that glowing screen.

But I’m here. Alive and relatively well. I have been wallowing in a shallow little hole, mourning my summer fun. Pitiful, isn’t it?!

Summer, for me, begins and ends with the Dave Matthews Band tour. May sound crazy to you, but not to me. And so my trip to Indy is my first day of summer. And whatever my final concert happens to be, that is usally my last day of summer. And then I have the joy of knowing that next year, I get to do it all over again. Only, this year, a thief ran up behind me while I was happily walking down the street and snatched my summer greatness right out of my arms and stole it for a WHOLE YEAR! I chased after the thief. I pumped my legs as hard as I could, I yelled for help, but he got away.

I start school in three weeks (!) and with school comes some drastic changes to my life. I know I should be traumatized by some other, more important, changes but in all honesty, it makes me shudder to think next summer I will not be going to concerts. When I say goodbye to my friend, we always know when our next hello will be. Always. And this time, we do not. I don’t like that. It feels weird. And a little scary.

And so that is where I have been. It has been a bit of a whirlwind summer for me. And now it is over and I am preparing this big change and the rearranging of my life for this school thing. It’s all a little scary and exciting.

And because I never post pictures anymore, I thought I would throw a curveball at you….

my boy ♥