Archive for November, 2009

November 30, 2009

Tree Hugger

I frequently tramped eight or ten miles through the deepest snow to keep an appointment with a beech-tree, or a yellow birch, or an old acquaintance among the pines.  ~Henry David Thoreau

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I just spent eight days in my home state of New Hampshire. It refreshed me. It renewed my love for nature. Specifically, birch trees. I was in a constant state of excitement, squealing slightly in my mind each time I spotted a birch tree as I was driving. That's right people, simple minds equal simple excitements!

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Sometimes I get sad thinking that I spent 18 years in a beautiful state that I only now seem to appreciate. Mind you, I spent time in nature way back when. I grew up in nature. As my mom pointed out on this trip, much of the photos of me growing up are outdoors. In the woods. In a stream. In the backyard. Outside. And I even hit nature up as a teenager. But I was not a photographer way back when. Being a photographer changes things. It completely and totally changes the way you view the world around you. 

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I wanted to spend HOURS with the birch trees. Sadly, my schedule was wacky, the weather was tempermental, the light fussy…..and OK, my fingers were cold! It seems Florida has done some rotten things to my blood! Instead, I spent about five minutes with a couple birch trees. My little photographer's soul was fed.

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November 29, 2009

Growth

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and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. -Anais Nin

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November 26, 2009

Gobble!!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! I am enjoying a very special holiday this year…for the first time since I was 15 (trust me, it is a looooong story!) I am finally spending a holiday with my family. This has been a long time coming, and it could not have happened at a better time. I am so excited about today and all that it means to me.

What are you thankful for today? I am thankful for a lot- some special, some just random…

– my parents. they ground me and comfort me and tell me everything is going to be ok.

– maple sugar candy. no, really. Have you had this sugary, tasty treat????

– nature. I'm not sure if I can put into words what mother nature does for me.

– music. I would like to marry music. You can be the flower girl if you would like.

– my hubby. patience should not be his middle name. No, it should be his first name. ok, and his middle and last name too.

– my incredible circle of friends. It may be a pretty small circle, but wow do they amaze me.

– my crazy furry puppers. they drive me crazy. they leave fur in their wake. I love them.

– sunglasses. That's right, sunglasses. I love them. I would have more wrinkles without them.

– views like this:

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November 18, 2009

5 on…Wednesday?

Sometimes I need to keep you on your toes. So today we are having our Firday 5 on Wednesday. First off…I will be out of town on Friday, but more importantly, today is a super special day for me…..5 years as a non-smoker!

So are you ready for a special 5? Here is five things that I think about when I think about no longer being a smoker….

1.  Fresh Scented for Your Pleasure. I no longer stink. Isn't that fabulous? Now, if there is a stink hovering over me, it is because I just ate an Italian sandwhich, or maybe ate some garlic bread. But it's NOT because I just smoked a cigarette.

2.  Huff & Puff.  ok, confession: I still huff and puff a bit, but now it is because I am overweight (which I lovingly blame on the quitting, but it was SO worth it!), not because I smoked a pack of cigarettes.

3.  Freedom.  It is amazing how tied down smoking can make you. Suddenly you are a slave to the habit. You MUST smoke that cigarette after a meal. You don't care if there is a tornado happening outside of that door, you MUST step out for a quick drag on the cigarette. Quitting smoking equals freedom from that.

4.  Riches.  When you quit smoking, suddenly you are rolling in money. Oh, the riches!!! You say that when cigarettes go past a certain price, you will quit. I say I smell smoke because your pants are on fire. Liar! They could be $10 a pack, and you will still buy them. It is only after you quit that you realize what a rip off those nasty things are and how could you ever have spent all that money on them?!

5.  Pride.  I am proud that I am no longer a smoker. I quit many times, but I can say this is official. I will never smoke again. I grew up in a household of smokers. I hated it. I despised it. And then I stole a cigarette. And I smoked it. I thought it was gross. So I smoked another, sure that I would figure out WHY everyone smoked, WHAT made it so fabulous. And then it was all over. I was a smoker. For years I thought I would end up a little old lady, with a damn cigarette pressed between her fingers. And then I decided I didn't like that image. And I quit. And I am proud of that.

I feel like I cannot type this post without telling you the why behind my quitting. So settle in and let me tell you a little story….

I had been smoking for about ten years. I was a pack a day girl, sometimes more. I woke the neighborhood each day with my gorgeous smoker's cough. I wanted to quit. Really, truly, I did. I even tried a few times…even making it almost a year. But I just couldn't do it. I used to wish for an incredibly horrible cold, because I couldn't smoke when I was sick, and I could use that to get me through the first rough days of going cold turkey. You would think that if I was to the point that I would wish for sickness that I would know it was time to just quit already. But nope.

So two things presented themselves as the perfect storm for quitting. First, I got dry socket, because yup, I smoked after I had a wisdom tooth pulled. Because I am intelligent that way. Let me tell you something about me and dental pain…I have had a lot of it. I am a dental trooper, if I do say so myself. My classic tip off to a dentist to let him know I am in pain is when he sees a tear leave my eye. Because I try to suck it up and not say anything. But sometimes, I can't stop the tears. So to experience the pain I was in, and actually have to call the dentist to complain? A tragedy! But I called. I got totally and completely busted for smoking. I had to have treatments for the dry socket for three days…and was sternly instructed to not smoke during these treatments. After experiencing that kind of pain, I promised, and meant it, that I would not smoke for those three days.

And then, the deal braker. At the same time of my dental woes, one of the nurses at work was hit with the ultimate tragedy. Her husband was feeling chest pain. They went to the emergency room. They took xrays. They did scans. And then they said, you are not having a heart attack, you are dying of lung cancer. You have maybe three months. I witnessed the devestation this news brought to this family. I listened as they discussed that he felt comforted in knowing his death would help with their debt because of the life insurance. I listened as they discussed how to tell his precious granddaughter that he would not be in her life for much longer. I listened to a wife cry at the thought of losing the love of her life. I listened. I cried. I felt guilty. By smoking, wasn't I esentially asking for the same events to eventually happen to me? And so I quit. My co-worker posted a picture of her husband in my workspace so that every time I thought that I wanted to smoke, I could look at his photo and be reminded of his pending death. Of a family's heartache. Of the foolishness of smoking. I never had another cigarette. My co-worker's husband defied the doctor's timeline, but not by much. And when he went downhill, it happened fast. He died. And I quit smoking.

November 6, 2009

Friday 5

It's that time again! I feel a bit lame (ok, super lame) that the only time I update my blog lately is for the Friday 5's, but you know what? At least THAT is making me update! Currently, it's better than nothing, right? RIGHT?

1.  Bacon.  That's right, bacon.

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yup, I love it. I have self-control issues, especially when it comes to bacon. I cannot turn it down. I know I am going to eat far more than is necessary. I know I am going to end up with a belly ache. I know that after it is all said and done I am going to declare that at any moment I am going to collapse into a grease induced death. And yet, I still love you bacon!

2.  Attitude.  I have a bad attitude. I envy the people that prance around with their glasses half full. My glass isn't even half empty, it's only filled to about a quarter. This is a tiring attitude to have. It wears on me. Especially when things are legitamitely going not so good, it makes it feel that much worse. SO- I am going in for an attitude adjustment. I need to have a better outlook on things. I need to be the one that is prancing around singing about how my glass is half FULL of chocolate milk!

3.  Mtv.  Let me just put this out there and be done with it. I have a sick addiction to Mtv reality tv. It is gross and I feel my brain cells dying as I watch it, yet I cannot look away. Real World? LOVE. IT. Every. Single. Season is exactly the same. There is an annoying guy. Someone with a drinking problem. A bitch. The girl that is not the girl you would take home to your parents. They will fight. They will throw things. Naughty things will happen in the hot tub. Still…I have to watch. And my favorite guilty pleasure? The Real World/Road Rules Challenge. It is like watching reality tv on crack. The drama! The scandal! The backstabbing! I need help people. Serious help!

4.  Happy Packages.  I love getting mail. I take a strange joy in going to the mailbox, even though I know that there is nothing more than a magazing and bills waiting for me. But every now and then, a happy little package will be waiting, with my name on it! Recently, I recieved such a package. Anyone that knows me knows that I adore random, so this package made my heart sing. The contents? A little stuffed monkey, a candle, and some chili mix packages. YAY!!!

5.  Blogging.  Can we just talk about blogging for a moment? I find it to be such a chore! I hate that! I used to loooooove blogging, but I think the issue has occured because when I started REALLY doing photography, the blog was more geared towards "business" and my crazy passion for photography….now I am in a weird limbo of not being in business, and having a serious argument with my photography and love for it, and suddenly I am not sure what direction this little blog should go in. I think it is having an identity crisis and I am not sure how to deal with that. While I don't want to bore anyone (is anyone out there?!) with my life and all it's trials and tribulations, I am really left with not much else to write about. It leaves me with the ultimate question…to blog, or not to blog?

November 3, 2009

PugCake

Sometimes, I tell my puggy that I am going to slather her with frosting and cover her with sprinkles and then eat her up like a cupcake because I love her so much. This illicits weird looks from the husband. He does not think that threatening to eat something up is a good way to show your love. I disagree. I even have the pugface wearing a cupcake collar to prove it. So you can imagine my delight when I saw the preview for Where The Wild Things Are and heard the following quote…."I'll eat you up, I love you so." I knew I wasn't alone!

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I love her so much I cannot stand it. She breaks my heart on a regular basis with her silly sweetness. It amazes me that after having her for three years, she still surprises us by coming out of her shell more and more. There are days that I am sad that I never knew her as a puppy. Days I wonder how she would have turned out if we had her from the very start. Days that I want to strangle all of her previous owners for the neglect and most likely abuse. But most days, I just love her so much I want to eat her up like a cupcake ♥