Dear 2011,

goodbye. and fuck you. from every direction.

2011, you were quite the disappointment to me. Being OCD, I have an incredible obsession with numbers, with 11 being my “perfect” number. Clearly, you can imagine my excitement at the prospects of 2011. I mean, a WHOLE year with my number as an endcap?!  Yes please, with supersauce on the side.

And then you smacked me in the face. You pushed me into a wall. You knocked me over and kicked me while I was down. I am pretty sure you even had brass knuckles on when you punched me. You were a dirty, dirty fighter. I had such an amazing 2010, and your rotten behavior has left me questioning if for every good thing I experience, I am destined to have that joy punished with an equally nasty let down.

You robbed me of a friend. Of my soul-puppy. You stole my hope. You ripped apart a relationship. You made me watch an amazing couple die. You have forced me to face a lot of things I really didn’t want to face. You proved that though I have an amazing reputation for building walls and barriers, I was capable of building them even higher. Even stronger and harder to get through.

I don’t like being stuck behind walls.

So fuck you. I will not let your black cloud hold me down any further. Because you know what? 2012 looks like it may hold some more darkness. But it also has a big, fat, ridiculously blinding light at the end of the tunnel. Because in all your rotten-ness, you did something positive for me. You made me fall down. Hard. And while I was getting comfortable being down for the count, I opened my eyes. And I took a good look around. And realized I didn’t like where I was. And only I can change that.

And that is what I am doing in 2012.

It will be a good year. Because I said so.

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