the back-up plan

…well you didn’t think I was just going to leave you hanging did you?!

You had to know that last post was leading up to something?!

A brief history of a girl who needs a back-up plan:
I never finished college. I kick myself a lot for that. But I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. College seems sort of expensive when you are unsure and walking around with a question mark over your head. I have worked lots of different jobs. Excelled at most of them. But in the end, you can only go so far as a peon. Even if you are the head peon. Head peons don’t make much money 🙂

Long, complicated story cut very short. One of my favorite coworkers was leaving for bigger and better things. There was a temper tantrum involved. And a job in the classifieds. And some foot stomping and even some tears. And suddenly, my little mind connected some dots, a very bright lightbulb went off, and suddenly I was keeping a pretty big secret from an awful lot of people.

I am terrible at keeping secrets. HORRIBLE. Seriously, don’t trust me with your secret stuff, because I won’t be able to keep it to myself!

But remember that last post? The whole insecurity thing? Mmmhmmm, insecurity makes it so very easy to keep a big secret when there is big potential for failure.

But it seems someone filled up my empty glass. Because success is what arrived in my mailbox on Thursday:

I present to you, THE BACK-UP PLAN:

To be quite honest, I really sort of want to throw up. I am scared! Me, a student again?! YIKES! vomit. pass out. *THUD*

But I want security. And yes, better paychecks. And a job I can be proud of. I want a “career.”

So I have been keeping this hidden for months. The application process was more intense than I would have expected. There were a thousand things to do, and there was an online class that devoured my days off from work and a rotten test that I am sure the devil himself created (which, ahem I ACED!!!). And then the waiting. God, THE WAITING. And knowing that it is a competitive program….did I mention vomit? What if the other applicants were better? Smarter? Better? Smarter? Better?….

It’s my back-up plan. It’s my plan for my future. It’s scary and exciting and the insecure me kind of wants to put those running shoes on 😉


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