goodbye, sweet girl…

♥ 01-01-01  –  02-18-11 ♥

My heart breaks in a thousand different ways as I write this. Though I knew this day was coming, though I have had time to prepare, my heart continues to break in a thousand different ways. To say goodbye to my girl was by far the hardest decision I have ever had to make. We made the decision last Friday. And we also made the decision to wait one week. To spoil her for one week. And so, for one week she was able to indulge her puggy instincts. She ate lots of bacon. And had pancakes for breakfast. French fries for lunch. She had lamb sausage topping her dinner every night. She ate apples and tried pb&j and was surprised with lots of extra treats and car rides. And on Thursday, she thanked me in the most incredible way…after just under five years of sharing our lives with each other she finally gave me 100% of her trust. For the first time, she gave me her belly. She has come so close on many occasions, only ever partially rolling over. On Thursday morning she made me smile through the tears.

I debated on how to write this post. I wrote it a thousand different ways in my head. It was long. It was short. I share the details of our decision. I tell you how badly I want her back. I don’t write it at all. In the end, I decided to leave you with something I wrote years ago, as part of an entry in a contest, something that pretty much sums it all up;

“…She has brought so much joy into my life, I feel ridiculous sometimes with the amount of love I have for her, but she has me under her spell. She has made me believe that just as we have soul mates, we can have soul-doggies too.”

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7 Responses to “goodbye, sweet girl…”

  1. I’m sorry for your loss; they just have a way of wrapping their paws around our hearts. Know that hers will be there for a long, long time. My sympathies to you. MJ

  2. I am sitting here crying my eyes out. I know how much you loved the Pugster. You are absolutely the best doggie mommy I have every know. I know how much it breaks your heart when it’s time to let go, but their job is done, whatever they were here to teach us, they have done and it’s just time for them to move on. Hugs

  3. Pugzilla will forever be in my heart. I am so sorry for your loss. I don’t think there is anything quite like the grief you feel when you lose a pet, take the time to cray when you need to and take care of yourself. I am glad one of your final memories of her is that she gave you her belly. You deserved that and hopefully thinking about that will help a little in the future.

    I know she is in Pupper heaven, no more hurty ears and itchy places. If nothing else, at least you know you gave her a good 5 years and she knew how much she was loved.

    Give Tinsely, Tinker and Koda extra hugs from me.

    Sami

  4. Kristie, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I only got to see you two together for a very short time, but it was so obvious how much you loved each other. You gave Punky the most amazing 5 years of her life. Thank you for letting me your soul-dog. *hugs*

  5. I don’t know what to say Kristie-except she was one lucky little girl and you gave her all you had to give. No one could do more. I’m going to pet Molly now and stop crying.

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