Narcissism or Preservation?

Here’s the thing…I haaaaaaate having my photo taken. Hate. It.

If you ask me to take your photo, I imagine you appreciate the power of photography, of preserving this time in your life, capturing and keeping a snippit in time. When I want to have my photograph taken, I think I am a narcissist 🙂 Can you say double standard? I feel foolish for actually asking for my photo to be taken. The issue is this….I seriously really hate being in front of the camera. I am not comfortable in my own skin (I’m working on that, really I am!). I have always felt a bit like an ugly duckling. I feel akward having the attention 100% focused on me. I just don’t like it. Suddenly I focus on all the little things I don’t like about myself, and consume myself with trying not to have those qualities captured for forever and a day. There are a few of you out there that can say with certaintly- I am not easy to photograph.

So it was with some trepidation that I approached hubby last weekend with the camera, and requested that it be turned on me. I may have averted my eyes and mumbled my request. I may have handed the camera over, and then immediately stated that the session was over and I changed my mind. And when he insisted it was most certainly NOT over, I may have again insisted it was SO over.

He gave me “the look’ and I knew…it wasn’t over. sigh. So I took the camera, set the settings, gave strict instructions, and then winced as I was staring at my reflection in the lens. I may have averted eye contact in the beginning. I’m difficult. I know.

I tried numerous times to walk away. I quit several times. I insisted that the “session” was over. He has learned well people 😉 He kept snapping. He said, just one more.

And to be honest with the whole entire world….I looked at some of these photos, and well…..I actually liked a couple of them! *gasp*

and really, if you are going to go all narcissistic, you should go all the way and post as many photos of yourself as possible right? lol

And for good measure….I present to you The Outtakes. Sometimes I amaze myself with my level or awkwardness.

* I need to give my hubby some serious credit for getting these shots. And not only because I am worse than a toddler jacked up on too much Kool Aid. Super duper little known personal snippet- hubster is legally blind due to a retinal disorder. His central vision is most affected by this. And here I sat with the following instructions: “ok, see the little red square in the center of the viewfinder? Ok, get that on my eye, get me in focus and then recompose and snap”. Best of luck to the blind guy! And he delivered! Massively delivered.

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