Party of One

It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.  ~K.T. Jong

Last weekend I did something that I have never done before. I spent a day with myself. And actually enjoyed it. For the first time in my 31 years, I whole-heartedly enjoyed my own company.

A revelation- I have never been a fan of my own company. A) I am slightly embarassed to say I am not a very independant kind of girl. I’m just not. Me + Alone Time = Meeeeh. I’ve learned to live with that. B) I am not a fan of being alone becuase I tend to be one of those people that starts thinking, and thinking………and thinking some more and before I know it I am overwhelmed with all my thoughts that I have been trying to master the art of avoiding. And so I spend my alone time with distractions. The computer. The TV. Shopping. Music. Noise noise noise.

So last weekend I said You know what self? I think it is fine time I get to spend a little quality time with you. So I loaded up my bike, filled the gas tank, stocked the cooler and headed to Myakka State Park. And then I pedaled. I pedaled for 14 miles. I walked numerous trails. I named the day Forced Inspiration Day in honor of my not picking up a camera in two months and deciding that that was just ridiculous. And so I forced myself into a day of solitude. I forced myself into seeing inspiration where I was not seeing it. And I forced myself to not force back all the thinking I have been trying to avoid. And I enjoyed myself immensly. IMMENSLY.

I allowed myself to not be afraid of walking in the woods alone (because really, when you watch as many horror movies as I watch, you are bound to have a natural fear of the woods!). I allowed myself to pedal slowly. To get lost in the lullaby quality of one of my favorite albums. To not be consumed with how much time this was all taking (I have an unnatural obsession with wasted time). To just be. And enjoy. And I did. A lot.

I saw the most incredible light on this day. I couldn’t stop looking at the way it played on these ferns.



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