Archive for February 20th, 2009

February 20, 2009

| ummmm, hi? |

I've been missing in action. I know. and I am sorry. really, I am. My world threw me a curveball this month which sent me spiralling into a big, deep black abyss otherwise known as depression.

sigh. I hate deeling with emotions, I really do. But my avoidance has backfired on my butt, and so here I sit, paying the price. I realized a while back that I was mildly depressed. I was annoyed by it and tried to ignore it. But I was frustrated because though it was not life-altering, it was still an annoyance in that it stole away one of my biggest loves- photography. I take an anti-depressant. I have for ages. Obviously, it wasn't working. I went to my doctor, we discussed my options, and decided to change medication. Yay, I thought. I thought wrong. All seemed fine at first. Great even. I had good energy- not the creepy I-have-a-chemical-coursing-through-my-blood kind of energy, but just normal person energy. I was feeling hopeful.

And then I experienced a surprise. Did you know that one side-effect of anti-depressants can be depression? for real. And not just your garden variety ho-hum depression but sweet-jesus-I-am-miserable-life-sucks-is-there-a-train-I-can-throw-myself-in-front-of depression? yeah…that would be where I have been for the past few weeks. But fear not…my sitting here and writing this proves that I did not, in fact, throw myself in front of a train 🙂 yay me. As soon as I realized that this went beyond feeling bad to downright scary, I called my doctor immediately, off the medication I went, and within two days the feelings lifted and I am back to "normal". phew! So I apologize for disappearing. But trust me, I would not have been pleasant company. So there you go. I was gone. I'm back. hi.

I have sucked at posting pictures….so I thought I would make up for that and share some run-down fun from my trip up to Georgia a couple of months ago. I love run down. I would rather look at run down and dirty than gorgeous and pristine. To me, run down IS gorgeous.