Wicked Woodlands

we were trapped in the woods today….

doesn’t it look scary?! it started out innocent enough….go out for a quick hike, and a hunt for some bugs, because yes, people, I like bugs. It’s weird, I know….but they happen to be one of my favorite things to shoot. (and just for the record—I scream like a little girl if they crawl on me…I don’t LIKE them like them….I just like to shoot them- weird, I know.) SO….back to the wicked woodlands. We set off to bug hunt. We headed to a local preserve, and made mistake number one- deciding we were WAY to cool to need a map. Who needs a map? NOT US. Why? Cause we are waaaaay too cool. I mean really, there were little wooden arrows all over teh place…how tricky could it be? HA!

I began contemplating eating the berries….
      We were wandering aimlessly for hours! Hours I tell you! I was famished!!! *public service announcement- please don’t eat the berries. please.
It was getting hot. There were no bugs. I was told that I could never be a National Geographic photographer, because apparently, I make much too much noise. hmph. My argument? bugs don’t hear (I have no clue if this is true), but apparently the world does not revolve just around me (yeah, I know! I was shocked too!) and hubby wanted to see some wildlife. So I tried, really, I did. BUT, I think it is not in my genetic make up to be quiet. It just isn’t.

Oh! The hunger pains! Where were we going?! It seemed like we were walking for days! Were we just going in circles? My vision started to blur
      Clearly, I was dying from waaaay too much exercise. And then it happened. I started hallucenating. Yes, that’s right, I started seeing things…..and not just anything, oh no….what I saw was moving poop. You read right, poop. moving. right across the path. WAIT! It’s a bug!!!! A dung beetle! Yaaaaaay, finally a bug!!!!! So, being the rude photographer that I am, we tore the hard worker away from his task at hand, and asked him to do a quick model shoot

And then……then the clouds seperated, the sun broke through, and I swear, I think I heard angels singing…..

Okay…so I have been told that I may be a bit overly dramatic……so here is what really happened:

yup, we were too cool for a map, and found ourselves on a VERY long trail. Does it count for anything that it FELT like we were never getting out alive? Is it my fault The Blair Witch Project continues to mess with my head whenever I am in the woods? We were not lost, according to hubby. We followed the arrows. It’s just that there were A LOT of arrows! I was tired and sweaty…and I suppose, just a teeny bit whiney. So NO, it did not take days to get out, just an hour and a half. Details, schmeetails.

Oh….and the park forgot to put up a very very important sign up….BEWARE OF MESQUITOS!!!!! They were absolutely gynormous…I feared for hubby’s safety. *a downfall to being married to a photographer coming up……NOW

poor guy! I made him endure another bite, just so I could get photographic proof of his misery!

always take the free map when going into the woods. and pack bug spray.


2 Comments to “Wicked Woodlands”

  1. Real nice essay,Happy New Year!

  2. Real nice essay,Happy New Year!

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