The Forgotten Photograph

In this little world of photography, it is always about getting *the* shot. That one killer photo that brings goosebumps to the flesh, tears to the eye. But sometimes, it is about the photograph that you didn’t get. The photograph that just didn’t seem important at the time. This crazy thing called life has a way of getting a hold of us, twirling us around in a frenzy, and dropping us off before we even know what hit us. And then we remember….I should have gotten a picture of that! Why didn’t I photograph that?!

Life is so very much wrapped up in the line "if I knew then…..". I am plagued with silly wishes. Wishes that I was always so passionate about photography. Because if I was, then perhaps I would have portraits of people that are fading from my memory. I would give anything and everything to have been able to sit with Bucki (my grandmother) and snap away, capturing all her silly facial expressions. The warmth of her smile. The way her eyes wrinkled in the corners. I would give anything.And I would have that portrait forever hanging on my walls, no matter where life took me, Bucki would be there.

I wish that I was able to have a moment with my brother, an opportunity to make a portrait of him…one of those dark moody portraits, with the dark shadowing and lots of grain, because that is who he was. I can see the portrait in my mind. If only I had taken it. If only I could have captured those dark eyes, that no matter how sad and angry they may have been, always had a bit of a twinkle hidden somewhere.

And of course, grandpa. Oh, if only if only if only. I wish I had portraits capturing everything about grandpa. The mischievous glint in his eyes as he told a joke he *knew* was going to get grandma to yell at him for. I would love to have captured him as he sang his old silly songs, and of him working his magic at the pool table. Of his hand enveloping grandma’s. I would give anything to have been able to capture the bond I developed with him in the short time that I had him I knew him.

If onlys will only get you so far. I am determined to not allow so many wishes and could have beens in my life. I am determined to capture these things before it is too late. So that those portraits can hang on my wall now. today. not just in my dreams.


3 Comments to “The Forgotten Photograph”

  1. Ditto, I only wish I had taken them.

  2. That was beautiful & it made me cry! I love you! You’re a gorgeous person Kristie.
    Love you!

  3. Oh, Kristie. I never knew you would make me cry so much. In a good way, though, of course. I’m so glad you got to know Grandpa so well. The way you described what you wish you caught brought back exact snapshots in my mind of what you were describing. I know you don’t believe in heaven, but in my world, I hope that Grandpa is up there giving Bucki pointers on a bridge game and singing his crazy songs. I’m glad you can share that with me. Love you!

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